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Seinfeld – The Car Reservation… or not

Seinfeld: Season 3, Episode 11

The Alternate Side (4 Dec. 1991)

ELAINE: Well, go, go.

RENTAL CAR AGENT: Can I help you? Name please?

JERRY: Seinfeld. I made a reservation for a mid-size, and she’s a small. I’m kidding around, of course.

RENTAL CAR AGENT: Okay, let’s see here.

JERRY: Sixty-six years old?

ELAINE: Yeah, well, he’s in perfect health. He works out, he’s vibrant. You’d really like him.

JERRY: Why do people always say that? I hate everyone, why would I like him?

ELAINE: What do you think, would you go out with a sixty-six year old woman?

JERRY: Well, I’ll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant. So vibrant, she’d be spinning.

RENTAL CAR AGENT: I’m sorry, we have no mid-size available at the moment.

JERRY: I don’t understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?

RENTAL CAR AGENT: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars.

JERRY: But the reservation keeps the car here. That’s why you have the reservation.

RENTAL CAR AGENT: I know why we have reservations.

JERRY: I don’t think you do. If you did, I’d have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to *hold* the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.

RENTAL CAR AGENT: Let me, uh, speak with my supervisor.

(The agent goes into an office with a window in the door so she can be seen speaking with someone.)

JERRY: Uh, here we go. The supervisor. You know what she’s saying over there?

ELAINE: What?

JERRY: Hey Marge, you see those two people over there? They think I’m talking to you, so you pretend like you’re talking to me, okay now you start talking.

ELAINE: Oh, you mean like this? So it looks like I’m saying something but I’m not really saying anything at all?

JERRY: Now you say something else and they won’t yell at me ’cause they thought I was checking with you.

ELAINE: Okay, that’s it. I think that’s enough, see you later.

(The agent returns.)

RENTAL CAR AGENT: I’m sorry, my supervisor says there’s nothing we can do.

JERRY: Yeah, it looked as if you were in a real conversation over there.

RENTAL CAR AGENT: But we do have a compact if you would like that.

JERRY: Fine.

RENTAL CAR AGENT: Alright. We have a blue Ford Esc ort for you Mr. Seinfeld. Would you like insurance?

JERRY: Yeah, you better give me the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this car.

RENTAL CAR AGENT: Please fill this out.

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