Seinfeld: Season 3, Episode 11
The Alternate Side (4 Dec. 1991)
ELAINE: Well, go, go.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: Can I help you? Name please?
JERRY: Seinfeld. I made a reservation for a mid-size, and she’s a small. I’m kidding around, of course.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: Okay, let’s see here.
JERRY: Sixty-six years old?
ELAINE: Yeah, well, he’s in perfect health. He works out, he’s vibrant. You’d really like him.
JERRY: Why do people always say that? I hate everyone, why would I like him?
ELAINE: What do you think, would you go out with a sixty-six year old woman?
JERRY: Well, I’ll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant. So vibrant, she’d be spinning.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: I’m sorry, we have no mid-size available at the moment.
JERRY: I don’t understand, I made a reservation, do you have my reservation?
RENTAL CAR AGENT: Yes, we do, unfortunately we ran out of cars.
JERRY: But the reservation keeps the car here. That’s why you have the reservation.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: I know why we have reservations.
JERRY: I don’t think you do. If you did, I’d have a car. See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to *hold* the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: Let me, uh, speak with my supervisor.
(The agent goes into an office with a window in the door so she can be seen speaking with someone.)
JERRY: Uh, here we go. The supervisor. You know what she’s saying over there?
ELAINE: What?
JERRY: Hey Marge, you see those two people over there? They think I’m talking to you, so you pretend like you’re talking to me, okay now you start talking.
ELAINE: Oh, you mean like this? So it looks like I’m saying something but I’m not really saying anything at all?
JERRY: Now you say something else and they won’t yell at me ’cause they thought I was checking with you.
ELAINE: Okay, that’s it. I think that’s enough, see you later.
(The agent returns.)
RENTAL CAR AGENT: I’m sorry, my supervisor says there’s nothing we can do.
JERRY: Yeah, it looked as if you were in a real conversation over there.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: But we do have a compact if you would like that.
JERRY: Fine.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: Alright. We have a blue Ford Esc ort for you Mr. Seinfeld. Would you like insurance?
JERRY: Yeah, you better give me the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this car.
RENTAL CAR AGENT: Please fill this out.